As I sit...

Hello

So this week has been a doozie
Ultra highs
Sanking Lows

My mind has just been getting stronger eventhough i have just been disappointing myself sometimes i know i am doing better.

So yea im saving my money and um if i must say so myself im doing pretty well

So lately ive been thinking like having i actually been doing me or doing what everyone else thinks of me. Like at times i think about others before myself or just the fact of what would these certain ppl think of me. Iono is it respect or an unnecessary conscience. never know

Ive been feeling very to myself lately. im not trying to. ive been pretty much reaching out to my friends and stuff but at times i dont get the response i think i was looking for. everyone seems pretty bored with life ( WHAT A TURN ON FOR A CONVO ). so its just been me my music and my sketch book.

So like sometimes i feel like i wanna just stand outside and do yoga. and releave myself of stress. lately its been like a bottle being shaken up with the top on u know its gonna burst soon but u dont know when.

oh i miss alot of ppl. like i know i say it all the time but like im scared to say it to some ppl ( not giving any names ) because i think they'll be like what the fuck. but iono after going through a perioud where u see some ppl everyday and then like never see them u just never appreciate their presence until u dont have it.

Oh im so tired of fighting like shit in my mind. like everytime i sit down i feel like NOOOO DONT THINK ABOUT THAT. OR NOOOOO THINK DIFFERENT THOUGHT. Then i end of thinking about rain ironically. ( i wonder y not sunshine)

OH I LOVE ALL MY FRIENDS ( YEA THE REAL ONES ), the ones who would actually care if im mad about something or help me out when i need it.


Hancock was an excellent movie.

I really want to experience shear bliss one day

I NEED SOME LOVING IN MY LIFE. Ive been wanting to just pamper and be romantic with SOMEONE for a long time but it just seems like im gonna being working everyday of the week like everyday ( as per usual ) i love taking care of ppl

so yea i need to go shopping

i think im gonna stop eating sweets and only drink water after this week

im on a diet

yes this is where i vent i dont care that im talking to no one but its one the only places where i can come to at any hour and just be like HERE IS MY MIND ON A SCREEN

i want to go to fashion school im getting lethal. like my aunt ( the one who is bitter and negative about everything said she likes my drawing today and think i should really go into fashion ---- maybe she can tell my gdad and let him know that i dont wanna be a doctor )

im addicted to cheesecake ( ITS MY WEAKNESS )

oh so i saw this cool ass chick at the mall the other day. it was random that we connected so much in like 5 minutes. i was picking clothes out for my sis with my sis and she told me i was a nice dresser. ( what a simple compliment can do )

I really need to clean my room

yes i like u ( alot ) but um i am very scared of being with u because i dont know what the out come will be. i know its stupid but hey im being honest.

sooo about those tigers....i hate sports

im scared most of the times to tell ppl how i really am so i just say a one word answer or lol + sumthing random. but i just feel like some are not that easy to talk to

i believe in love at first site

Have u ever wanted to ask someone something so bad but never did ?
Have u ever had that one person that u wanted to tell something to but never had the guts too?

i have had that with both.

adios. i love the ppl who are in my life at the moment.
( p.s why does everyone always look at love as romantic but instead of just the sweet appreciation and connection u have with a aperson. let along the bond u have with someone )